I was walking out of the building the other day after work. As you come out of our break room, there’s a bulletin board in front of you that they post various pointless and meaningless company notices on from time to time. One of these notices, which has been on the bulletin board in one spot or anther for about… 8 months now, is about our company’s Employee Incentive Program.
Basically, you refer someone to use for claims processing (or various other) services, and you get an x% bonus (depending on which services and the number of employees, etc.). The whole system is really a ripoff. You get them $30,000 a month in income and you get $1,000 right off the top… once. Hell, for $30,000 a month, I’ll quit my job, hire a few data entry clerks, and start paying claims myself. After all, how hard could it be?
Anyway, as I walked out of the building, I got to thinking… This Incentive Program… How does it compensate the people we’re referring? They’re the ones that are going to suffer greatly. Good god, I wouldn’t inflict OUR Marketing department on even my worst enemy! And believe me, the only reason I refer to them as our Marketing department is that they’re the closest half-assed attempt at one we’ve got…
As much as I hate stupidity and incompetence, if I were in charge, they would be the first ones to go. The entire department. Starting with the VP of Marketing, who actually owns 1/4 of the company, and ending with his disgustingly happy brainless little graphic design artist lap-dog. I mean, for god’s sake, they have 4 people in that department. They spend 4x the amount of any other department in the company in annual expenses, AND we’ve not only not gotten any new clients in the 4 years that I’ve worked there, but we’ve lost 3 that we previously had. It’s obvious that they’re not accomplishing their purpose.
I was reading a blog entry / rant about how a guy got a bad grade on his excellent debate for pro-capitol punishment. One of his shining points was that it’s an excellent method of demonstrating the consequences for capitol offenses. I think the same concept should be applied towards our Marketing department. Not only have they not gained any ground in the past 4 years, but they’ve lost some we previously held. They’ve hired 3 new members, and still notta… Obviously they’re not properly motivated (particularly since all they ever do is sit around and look at Power Point presentations… which aren’t going to help if you don’t get out and actually SHOW THEM TO POTENTIAL CLIENTS!).
Alright, enough’s enough… If someone I work with reads this, I’ll probably already get fired. No need to add insult to injury by continuing with personal attacks…