Chris Meller

So in my last entry I mentioned the Hooters waitress and the comment the guy I work with made about drinking and Stax. Most of you probably didn’t get that, so I said I’d explain in my next post. Well, here’s that post…

First, a little background info: For the record, I work with some of the biggest drinkers I’ve ever met. Actually, probably not ‘some of’, they’re probably THE biggest drinkers I’ve ever met.

Second, our company (even though it’s very small), has invested in 4 season tickets to our local hockey games (go Greenville Grrrowl!). The 4 owners of course get first dibs on any tickets, and afterwards, they start working their way down the company line until someone that wants them shows up.

Third, I love hockey.

So throw all this together and you do the math. 1 + 2 + 3 = … wait, what does that equal? Oh yeah, 6… And you thought this would be easy? OK, so really. It all started one Thursday when one of the guys I work with got the 4 company hockey tickets. 3 guys from our company and 1 of their friends was invited along for a free ticket. They then start asking if anyone else would like to join up with them (as long as they buy their own ticket, of course). So, logically, I take them up on it. We all get to the game, they get arm bands and we all sit down. Immediately, they all get up and go buy the first round, returning with huge cups of beer for everyone (including me, of course).

So, a few periods and numerous rounds later, one of the guys decides he hasn’t eaten and goes up to the club lounge (who would have thought our company would have sprung for the VIP tickets?). So, we all go upstairs to the lounge. One of the other guys and I lagged behind the rest of the crowd, so when we showed up, they’d already started a tab at the bar. Of course, this is like spending on a credit card versus cash. It’s so much easier to lose sight of how much you’ve spent. After an hour and an $80 bar tab, they closed the lounge (the game had been over quite a while now).

So we all leave and decide that we still need food. On the way, the 3 of us in this one car (me lying down in the back laughing my ass off the entire way) stop at a convenience store and go through another 6 pack on our way to another bar. Well, we get to the bar and are waiting for the other car to show up. The guys hand me a couple bottles to go toss over a wall, and tell me that if I have to piss, go ahead and do it on the wall. So here I am, it’s midnight, I toss 3 beer bottles over a 10 foot wall and hear them crash behind it, and then I go all over the wall, more than a little inebriated by then.

Well, the other car finally shows up and we go inside. It’s crowded, and we try to sit down at the bar, but the bartender IDs me, and we all leave (yeah, bummer, I know). So we go across the street to Stax, an all-night diner that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner 24/7. We sit down and the other 3 order. By this point, I’m practically passed out in the booth, leaning against the windowsill. The toast comes and they tell me to eat up, because I’ll probably need it.

I get one, maybe two bites out of the piece of toast and here it comes. The guy next to me slides out and rushes me to the bathroom (all the way across the restaurant). We make it, and I puke my guts up in the toilet. So we go back to the booth and everyone relaxes. Well, we made 2 more trips (3 in all). I only really remember the 1st and 3rd trips, both of which I made it to the bathroom for (and almost pass out next to the toilet during the 3rd one).

Afterwards, the other two guys leave, and I’m wwaayy too drunk to drive home, so the one other guy (who actually sits across from me at work) virtually has to carry me out to the car, and then back up to his apartment, where I pass out in his bed (alone, perv).

At 2:30am, my mom calls my cell phone and I answer (foolishly). Apparently she’d already called one of the other guys I was out with and woke him up (although he didn’t remember it the next morning). I foolishly tell her I’m drunk and that I’m alright and where I am, and she hangs up. Aside from a little awkwardness the next day (and a lot of sleeping on the job), not much else interesting happened.

The really funny part is, a month later, we’re at our company Christmas party. People are thinning out by this point, and we’re sitting around talking (more or less the same group that was at the hockey game). One of the guys is telling the story to the wife of one of the others and gets to the part about Stax, at which I learn what happened the 2nd time I lost it, which I didn’t remember. Apparently, much to my embarrassment, the 2nd time it was totally unexpected on everyone’s part, and I actually puked all over the table. One of the guys was off (probably cleaning up my puke in the bathroom), and the other two just kinda looked at it, thought ‘Yeah, that’s really gross, but we’re really really hungry’ and kept eating.

So that’s my big drinking story. It was fun, at first. Then we got to Stax, and it all went downhill very very sharply, as soon as I sat down and settled down and the rest of the alcohol hit. Needless to say, I’ve tried to stay away from alcohol since then.

Well, let’s see… I finally got in touch via email with the professor I’ve been trying to reach for a week this morning. At first, she didn’t want to let me back into her class and said she didn’t think I could catch up after missing the first 2 weeks. After a little begging, she went to the department head (who happens to be the guy I spoke with personally to get into a class without taking a prerequisite… we got along great, I’m not surprised he let me back in!). So now I’m back in the classes, and even after missing 2 weeks worth of crap, I only have 3 assignments to make up (and they’re the first ones of the course, easy as cake…).

Oh yeah, and it’s supposed to snow tonight and all tomorrow. The weather channel only says a 90% chance of precipitation, so I’m not sure how convinced I should really be… You’d think if it were really going to happen, they’d actually bump it up to 100% and get it over with. Or maybe that’d open them up for a lawsuit if someone called in sick to work and then nothing actually happened… Well, at least if it does (assuming we have power and internet), I’ll be able to catch up on all my school work. And if not… Well, I’ll just get 2 more weeks behind.

We went to lunch at Hooters yesterday. The waitress was an incredibly sucky waitress. It took 45 minutes for us to get our food, 15 of which was spent sitting there watching it sit up front because our waitress was off flirting with an Elijah Wood lookalike a few tables down. Is it just me, or do his eyes freak anyone else out? I swear, they’re like… so bright or something. I don’t know, anyway. After we finished, she made up her tip about 3x over. I didn’t finish all of my burger (so I have a stomach the size of a 2 year old… so what? Better than having the blatter of one like most women!), as usual, and she started in on me about when I was going to become a man and finish my plate.

Later she came over and tried to get us to get dessert. She started listing all the stuff they had, hoping we’d jump on one (although I think we only wanted to jump on HER! It’s Hooters, what do you expect?). One of the guys I work with has been on a diet and hadn’t had any beer in like 2 weeks, and he added on ‘Newcastle’ when she finished. She looked around the table, then at me, and said ‘You’re not old enough to drink.’ The other guy with us cut in ‘Yeah, tell that to the people at Stax’. The waitress didn’t get it, but the other guy and I just cracked up. (If you don’t get it either, then wait for my next post and I’ll explain that night…). So finally we quited down and she asked me how old I really was. I told her 19 and she didn’t believe me. I offered to show her my driver’s license and she finally gave in, saying I looked MUCH younger than that. I’m not really sure how to take that. Maybe when I’m 40 and only look like i’m 20 I’ll appreciate it when I can still get into movies by buying a kids ticket, but right now I just wish I looked a little older (like, say… 21?)…

Aside from that, the week was pretty dull. I talked to a client in New Jersey at work just before lunch today. He was amazed we’re supposed to get snow. Whenever he thinks of South Carolina, he thinks of golf and green fairways. He also said it was 6 degrees when he left his house for work that morning, which trumped the 18 degrees when I left for work (late, as usual).

On Slashdot today, there was an interesting article about a blog entry made by a new Google (former Microsoft) employee that criticized some of the aspects of his new employer. The entry was apparently snatched down as soon as people at Google realized it, and only put back up a week later when the author had time to revise it and go a little easier on the company. He says he wasn’t pressured and that Google was suprisingly cool about it all, but we all know how likely that is. I know my company wouldn’t particularly like me spreading rumors about things and bashing them, even though they’re nowhere near the public eye. Then again, I guess it’s true what they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. If no one knows about you in the first place, any publicity is good publicity. Well, if nothing else, this guy’s blog entry has convinced me to write one criticizing our marketing department, which you’ll probably see here soon (because I’ve sure got plenty to criticize them about).

BTW, now that I look, I can’t find this article on Slashdot anywhere (could it have been removed?). However, I was thoughtful enough to email myself a link to the Bloglines copy [bloglines.com], and the original (albeit ugly) version can be found here [blogspot.com].

Anyway, that was pretty much my day. Aside from a little nose picking, lots of coffee (and the cute coffee chick that always goes with it), and talking about poor parenting these days with the guys at work, that’s about it.

Before we get started with today’s topic, I’d like to welcome everyone to Incoherent Babble. That sentence was probably the last sincerely kind thing you’ll ever hear me say on this site. If you want horridly pleasant ass-kissing, I’d like to refer you to Apple’s website [apple.com]. OK, enough? On with the show!!

Have you ever noticed that for months on end, it seems as if no one is interested in you romantically, and then, all of a sudden, you find someone who is, and it suddenly seems that virtually everyone you meet now shows some form of unusual affection towards you?

Is it a simple matter of perspective? Could it be that you suddenly have a new found sense of confidence? One person likes you, of course everyone else must as well!

Or could it actually be cosmic karma? The planets have aligned, you’ve found a date, and hundreds of people are suddenly throwing themselves upon you.

This is the question we ask ourselves this week on Dr. Meller. Before we all go out and start buying bodyguards to help ward off the impending mass that is womanhood before they can smother us with their wonderful loving, we need to take a step back and examine the situation.

Is it really that we suddenly feel an enhanced sense of confidence from the affections of one glorious date, or is there actually something not quite as logical as it seems about this situation? Do we as humans strive and yearn for acceptance, particularly when it comes in the form of affection from the opposite sex?

Many people out there (most notably a certain Jamaican wanna-be (*cough cough* Miss Cleo!)), believe in astrology. Astrology is the “science” (which can be taken with varying degrees of seriousness) of the stars, or the study of the planets’ position and direction relative to a certain celestial body (either the Sun or the Earth, depending on which variation we’re talking about) and its potential influence on a natural organism.

According to Dr. Percy Seymour, the Principal Lecturer of Astronomy at the University of Plymouth in the United Kingdom in his book “The Scientific Basis of Astrology”, the alignment and positioning of the planets Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune can, in some small way, affect the solar cycles of the Sun, which in turn affect the electromagnetic field of the Earth. Confused yet? Good. Anyway, the point is, the alignment of these planets does have the potential to affect the human brain when still in developmental phases in a baby fetus. Dr. Seymour believes that the changes in the electromagnetic field of the Earth can play a part in establishing some of the basic inherited personality characteristics of the child at birth.

While Dr. Seymour’s research indicates that celestial bodies can possibly have affects on the brains of human fetuses, but doesn’t provide any indication that this can alter the behavior of fully grown and developed human brains, so we’re not talking wolf man or werewolf stuff here, but it’s an interesting consideration none-the-less, particularly considering most astrology predictions involve dates of birth of both parties involved in the relationship.

Whether you believe Dr. Seymour’s research and hypothesis or not, you have to admit that while a bit far-fetched, his theory is at least plausible. Will we actually ever find the true answer? Probably some day, but not likely in the near future.

We’ll skip over the next logical car on this train of thought: destiny. There are probably more people in the world that believe that there is that one perfect person out there for you, your one true ‘destiny’ than there are that believe in the compatibility of astrological signs. However, since this topic is likely to spark heated debates no matter where it’s read, not to mention the material for an objective review of the matter would fill an entry 10x the length I intend for this one to be, as well as the personal opinion of the author clouding the reviews objectivity, we’ll forgo anything lengthy here and simply move on to the other side of our relationship-deciding fate coin.

Now that we’ve investigated the scientific view point, why don?t we look at the (I suppose) less logical mode of thought: human emotions and perception of the world around them.

I’ve personally asked myself the same question we?re asking now many times before. I’d go for long periods of time without seeming to see any type of interest from any women in my life. Then I’d finally get a girlfriend and all of a sudden not only am I on a new emotional high (How can you not be? You’re not single anymore. You’re better than everyone else.), but it also appears to me that all the girls I used to drool over that showed no return interest in the past are now fawning all over me, when I’m not even paying them any attention.

Well, pick up any relationship book, read any article on how to get a date, or talk to any marriage counselor or your local shrink and they’ll tell you that the old saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is 100% true. When you’re constantly smothering someone with affections and begging them to go out with you, not only is it degrading and down right shameful, but it also gets annoying. When you’re suddenly gone, obsessing over your new girlfriend for a change (which will probably be the reason you two break up as well), these people you’ve been drooling over in the past suddenly realize what they’re missing when they don’t have you around all the time. Your absence truly does make their heart grow fonder. Now, that’s not to say that when your new girlfriend finally dumps your pathetic clingy ass that they’ll suddenly leap into your arms professing their undying love for you, but that’s really not what we’re trying to examine here. We’re simply trying to figure out if it’s true that everyone seems to want you when you finally end up in a relationship.

OK, so you didn’t like Meller’s 1st Theory of Dating? Well, we’ll try to formulate a 2nd theory and see if you believe it any more?

So maybe you didn’t like the last theory because it involved a corny cliche that constantly annoys you now. Well, we’ll try to avoid those this time around. Meller’s 2nd Theory of Dating involves simple perception on the behalf of the poor unfortunate soul who has found himself drug into a relationship that is bound to fail (most likely due to his own inadequacies). In this theory, we hypothesize that everyone appears to be madly in love with you the instant you finally find your pathetic ass a girlfriend, simply because of the delusional state of euphoria brought on by a (temporary) end to your long search for a companion of the opposite sex.

In this delusional state, you are under the impression that you can do no relationship wrong, so to speak. You’re on top of the world and you see the best in every situation (damn that silver lining!). Therefore, it always seems that these women are in love with you, even when they’re doing something as simple as being polite. No, that wasn’t a special twinkle in her eye. NO, she didn’t wink at you just then! Oh FFS, she really does just want to work on that science project Saturday night!!

Alright, so none of Meller’s Theories of Dating actually involve any kind of scientific proof or research of any kind, but you know you love them anyway. Besides, it makes much more sense than Dr. Seymour’s research does.

Fine, as a first entry this turned out to be a little less light-hearted and funny than I’d intended. For some reason when I was writing it today (at work, by the way), I got into a very psychoanalytical mood and decided to take a cold hard look at the subject. Well, you see the results?

I promise that my next post will be a more light-hearted view of whatever subject it happens to be on, but it’s safe to expect these serious melodramatic posts here and there. It just depends on what kind of mood I happen to be in whilst penning my masterpiece!

Well, OK, maybe Linux isn’t US, but it’s certainly ME now. I’ve officially become a Linux desktop user.

My distro of choice? Slackware 10, of course! Unfortunately, it supports the onboard equipment in Dell computers very poorly, and Fedora Core 3 (currently Test 3) is a perfect contender.

So why did I switch? Read on for my reasons, as well as some of the hurdles I hit along the way…

Well, I know you’ve all heard this line before, but it’s the truth, as much as I hate (not really) to admit it… I was sick of the crashes. Well, they weren’t really crashes. Windows XP is much better about not crashing, it simply stops working until you finally reboot it all on your own.

My brand new Dell Dimension, sporting a respectable 3ghz processor, was less than 3 months old, and XP Pro had already come to a grinding halt. Gone were the 7 week long uptimes I’d gradually (amazingly) grown used to. Here to stay were 3 day uptimes, apparently. I tried everything I could. I knew my system wasn’t infested with spyware, but I ran AdAware to be sure. Of course, it picked up cookies from all the ads everyone plasters on their sites, but that was it. I also knew it wasn’t virus-laiden, but a quick scan of the hard drive proved my point yet again.

The next step was to take a look at all the stuff I’d managed to accumulate over 3 whole months. Well, there were all the standards. Of course I had my mIRC first… not exactly a hog. Then there was Office 2003. Yeah, it’s beefy, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. On and on I went. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Finally, I just had enough. A quick backup of my essentials and I was gone…

I already had the Slackware discs on hand, and had run it not only as a server at work, but also as a “play” desktop on an old 1.1 Celeron that sits behind me. I loved how it seemed to come with anything (just like Redhat/Fedora), but didn’t try to screw with anything like they did. The install procedure wasn’t nearly as friendly as Redhat’s, but it was by no means difficult.

The install process on my junk box had gone flawlessly. Unfortunately, my new Dell had much more modern hardware and was in for a rougher time. While the install did indeed go flawlessly, and Slackware did a respectable job of detecting my hardware (including the onboard Intel network card), I soon discovered upon issuing “startx” at my new command prompt that it hadn’t detected my video settings at all. I was greatly disappointed. I’d never needed to install a new video driver in Linux before, and had no real clue of where to go from there.

I started out by looking for some Dell drivers. As with many other manufacturers, they only cater to the Windows world. OK, my next approach, which is where I generally start in the first place, was the almighty Google! Google, as usual, came to my rescue. There were more posts than I could count on more Linux forums that I knew ever existed about my exact problem, as well as a few others I hadn’t gotten to yet.

Eventually, I was to go directly to the Intel website and download the onboard video drivers for my motherboard. It was a tad confusing trying to find the exact driver that I needed. The first set I thought was the correct model number didn’t want to compile on my system because they didn’t find a supported device. Back to the Intel website, I finally managed to track down the right set (wouldn’t it be nice if Dell were to put the exact model number on their website when you look up your system?). They compiled, and I was left with only one more step. One of the forums also pointed towards a patch that fixed a problem in the amount of video memory detected. After every reboot, the patch had to be run before the xserver would start up.

After getting the drivers working, I had to track down the xconfig program in Slackware and re-run it, providing manually all the information (which driver, how much memory, monitor type, resolution, refresh rates, the works). By now, I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I was also getting greatly discouraged at the same time.

Another “startx” at the console and I was up and running. I was greeted with the wonderful new look of an untainted Gnome 2.6. The journey wasn’t quite over yet, however. I soon discovered that my sound was also not working. The journey to create some noise wasn’t nearly as difficult, more so to the point of being annoying that Slackware wasn’t able to solve such a simple problem itself. The Alsa driver simply needed to be loaded and then alsamixer needed to be told that it shouldn’t mute the hardware. Bingo, everything was working…

Now, you’re probably wondering how I came to love Fedora… Well, Slackware’s a bit vague on the documentation side of things. I finally got things up and running perfectly. I got all my stuff loaded, including CrossOver office from Codeweavers, so I could run my beloved Microsoft Office (I know, I know, but you have to admit there’s nothing to compare to them…), when I decided that I’d go ahead and upgrade my kernel to 2.6 (from the default 2.4 that ships with Slackware). Well, you’d think it’d be a simple process, but without any guide on how to proceed, somehow, I managed to botch the job, and didn’t notice until returning from vacation approximately 3 weeks later.

So came the Fedora install. I knew from experience that Red Hat had been virtually flawless in its detection of and support for all hardware known to man. So came the new Red Hat incarnation, regardless of name… 4 CD ISO images later and I was greeted by the very familiar GUI of the Red Hat installer system. An hour later, and I was up and running without a hitch. After several more hours of downloading patches from the Red Hat Network (or whatever it’s called now…), I was fully updated. I had the latest Gnome, I had the latest kernel, and I was ecstatically happy. I have been so ever since.

The only remaining step was to finally take the plunge and install Linux on my laptop as well. After a few weeks of loving my new Linux desktop and not having any withdrawls from Windows, I was off… Fedora Core 3 (Test 3) had some issues with my Dell Inspiron 5150’s fan and overheated several times, giving me probably the biggest scare of my life (now that my notebook is just 3 months out of its year warranty). A fall back (and a corresponding 4 CD ISO images) later, and I was up and running with the stable version of Fedora, Core 2. As with the desktop system, I haven’t looked back yet. In fact, I’ve looked forward to the official release of Fedora Core 3 (slated for November 6th-8th) much more than I ever anticipated the release of a Microsoft product.

So those are my rather lengthy (and probably very boring) adventures in the transition to Linux. I may provide a more technical account of my Laptop’s rockier transition later (such as the difficulties with Wireless LANs on Linux), but for now, that’s it.

I encourage you to give Fedora (and Slackware!) a try, even if it’s just as a box you’re comfortable with blowing away any time you screw up. The more people who use Linux and then convert to it, the better. We may never totally rid ourselves of the Windows world (remember that 1.1 Celeron? It now runs Windows 2000 Professional, just for the odd application that MUST have Windows - like my LabSimulations for school), but we sure can try our hardest and force it as far out of our lives as possible. As for me? I’m a Linux junkie now, and I’m learning more than I ever have about an Operating System before. And don’t feel like it’s a one way path. I still use Windows at work, and I’m still the head computer support specialist there. Everything (including several non-Linux servers) are running Windows, and I’m not freaking out…

You know something that’s become a virtual plague on the internet these days that I’m seriously sick of? Cheap knockoffs. They’re everywhere. From huge corporations creating cheap knockoffs of their competitor’s online music store to little nobodies trying to create knockoffs of great online games? It’s everywhere, it’s out of control, and something needs to be done about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some bible-thumping copyright activist. Ordinarily, I root for the little guy. I don’t think the MPAA should be raiding houses looking for stolen music, and I think I should be allowed to do whatever I like with the music I’ve legally purchased (yes, I purchase my music. I believe the artists do deserve to get paid for their work, just like I do.). However, I do have to draw the line when people start to knowingly copy works and publish them as their own.

I suppose I should give a little background on this before I continue, so that people can get a better idea of what I’m talking about?

There are two online browser-based games. Utopia and Re!gn (both of which can be found in the Web Links module in the “Games” category). These are both truly remarkable games. Utopia is a long-established, well planned and maintained game sporting multiple servers, each of which gives the user a unique playing environment. It is based in a fantasy world. Re!gn is a new-comer in the field. It’s still in the beta stages, constantly undergoing maintenance and development. It’s a little more random and also much more responsive to its users requests. It is based around modern day countries.

Now to the problem. In the past 6 months, each of these great games has had a pathetic knockoff created of it.

Our journey begins with Re!gn’s knockoff, which emerged at some point in the last 6 months (which is probably a very safe estimate. I have a horrible sense of time, so I played it safe). Its name? Elite Empires, or 3E for short (how they get 3 out of `Elite Empires’, I’m still not sure?). It’s developed by some Re!gn lovers themselves, who have caught nothing but flack for their idea. Ever since word was released in the Re!gn forums that there was going to be a new Java-based stand-alone version of the game produced by someone other than the original developers of Re!gn, they’ve been bashed from every corner. The apparent general consensus? Don’t copy other people’s work!! The “3E” devs have spent every waking minute trying to convince everyone that it is *not* like Re!gn at all and that we should all love it ever since. They’ve met severely limited success?

We continue on our escapade with the knockoff that really pushed me over the edge and spurred this article itself. Its name? Siege World. Siege World is the most pathetic attempt at copying a game I’ve ever seen. They’ve taken a long-standing internet legend such as Utopia and ripped out every feature. Whether it was actually a direct ripoff of Utopia or some unlucky simp merely ripped the idea off from another pathetic ripoff, I can’t say and honestly don’t care. From an initial protection phase to protect new accounts from being raped by pathetic larger kingdoms who are too afraid to pick on anything their own size to the lack of unique account personalities and races which provide special abilities to your account, this game is thoroughly pathetic and barely deserves mentioning. Why are you mentioning it then you ask? Because no where does the game give any credit to Utopia what-so-ever. The name isn’t even mentioned on their pathetic site. At least 3E’s website outlined supposed differences between itself and Re!gn and even contained a link to Re!gn itself? That’s not even the worst of it, however? The worst part? Siege World is being “developed” (if that’s even applicable in this case) by a moderator of the Re!gn forums.

So is this an indication that the Re!gn forums are nothing but trouble and consist merely of 12 year old bottom feeders who can’t originate their own ideas and are therefore forced to steal those of others? I’m afraid I have to admit that it is. One look at the Re!gn forums and you find no help, no advice, not even anyone answering questions in the support thread. All you find is squabbling and complaining. No one can take an original opinion. They all have to bash and put down the author of such posts, and they don’t deserve the game they so loyally play.