I was reading Savage Chickens today, when I discovered my new personal goal. I am now striving to become the human embodiment of this chicken:
I love these chickens. I highly recommend them if you want some off-the-wall chicken humor in your life!
What the Fuck is Going On?
Will someone please tell me What the Fuck is Going On with gas in the Southeast?
On my way home, I pass 3 seperate gas stations. The first one is notoriously expensive, because it’s the only one for several miles around (Hudson Road at Old Spartanburg Road for those that know the area). On one side you’ve got one “well off” group of communities, and on the other, you’ve got another “well off” group of communities. As I passed it, I noticed that there were no less than 30 cars waiting in line to get gas at this station with 4 whole pumps. I’ve never seen a single line at a gas pump, and now we’ve got 30 people waiting to get gas? WTF?
The second station is a Spinx, which is notoriously the lowest price in the general area. They were topping out at $3.60 for premium. That’s right, $3 mother f’ing 60!
The last one I pass shocked me with a price of $2.69 for regular. Only after circling the thing did I realize that was because they were totally out of gas. Not a single pump in operation, out of at least 6.
Top it off with the asshat on the Charlotte radio station I was listening to shouting to listeners “Go get gas! I don’t care what the price is, go fill up your tank, because we are running out of gas!“. I think we should arrest the mother fucker for inciting public panic.
So could someone please tell me what the fuck is going on? Don’t even try to blame this on Katrina. If this much god damn oil came out of the Gulf of Mexico, why are we so focused on the Middle East? Start pumping the mother f’ing ocean dry morons.
Hell, even AAA is recommending that you not go get gas right now, because this is exactly what they know will happen: thousands of people will all get gas at exactly the same time, stations will start to run out, and prices will skyrocket.
Anyone have an even remotely possible explination for this? Aside from general stupidity, of course… How about gas prices elsewhere? Anyone have other interesting stories?
Personally, I’m not terribly concerned. I’ve got at least another 250 miles in my tank… Suck my 38mpg ya mother f’ing SUV-driving morons!
Update: After actually watching Fox News, I see that we’re not actually ‘mining’ oil in the gulf. These are refineries we’ve lost due to Katrina. According to Fox News, we’ve lost 8% of the nation’s refineries due to Katrina. My point still stands… 8%? WTF? We should be able to crank up production at the other 92% of our refineries and compensate for this. Stop being douchebags and trying to make a buck and let’s actually help each other out, shall we?
I’m still more concerned about the tons and tons of coffee beans stored in New Orleans that could be wet / lost / useless as a result of Katrina… If my coffee prices go up, I’m screwed!
Butt Sweat
Alright, I’m here today to discuss a very important topic, one which has plagued us all from time to time. If possible, I’m also going to totally ruin any reputation I had as a stand-up member of the blogging community. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can also get myself fired at the same time… I suppose that’ll have to wait for another day.
Alright, as you’ve no doubt already guessed from the title of this entry, my very important topic today is none other than butt sweat… No, I didn’t say butt sex, I said sweat! Honestly now, what kind of pervert are you?!
Regardless of what kind of pervert you are, on with the point… Which is… Oh shit, I think I forgot to come up with one before I started writing this. I guess one would have to assume I meant to imply how much I hate it when my butt starts to sweat. When your body gets to this point of utterly and desperately attempting to cool itself, you know it’s far too hot in the office building, and it’s time to turn the air up, even if the dumbass new DBA you just hired is freezing to death in the 80 degree heat. She’s not being a productive member of society, so she doesn’t count when the vote is taken…
But seriously, don’t you just hate it when your butt starts to sweat? God I know I do…
And no, I’m not drunk or stoned or tripping on frog sweat… I’m 100% sober… Unfortunately…
My Good Day
Last Tuesday was probably the first of what I’d call a “good day” that I’ve had in a while. Don’t get me wrong. Lately I’ve had my share of “alright” days. You know, the ones where someone asks you how you’re doing and you say “oh, not bad.”
That pretty much sums up my life right there: “oh, not bad.” It’s by no means a “bad” life, it’s just not a “good” one either. It’s always just “so-so”, just “alright”.
I honestly, try as I might, can’t remember the last time I came home with a smile on my face and thought “boy, what a good day.” Maybe that says something about me, maybe that says something about my job, or maybe that really doesn’t say anything at all… Hell, maybe it would take a shrink to tell me whether that actually means anything or whether I’m really just an average American with an average full-time job.
Despite what it may or may not mean, incase you hadn’t noticed, I actually had a good day. Here we go again…
Maybe it was because I got a more restful sleep last night than usual, maybe it was because I had class today and could catch up on some spider solitaire, or maybe it was just because I didn’t have 300 random stupid problems today at work that pissed me off to no end.
Regardless of the reason, it was there, and I’m not going to kill the magic by analyzing the shit out of it…
Goodnight KMart shoppers!
Unexpected Links and True Love
Alright, this is kinda cool. I logged in to my admin area tonight to make some theme and plugin changes, and I was surprised to find a new “Incoming Link” through Technorati listed…
At first I thought it was a SPAM link, since it didn’t seem to be legible from the portion I saw in my dashboard, but I was soon much more surprised to find that it was in fact in German…
You can check out the original post, and for those of us who are uni-lingual (and not in German), you can view the Yahoo! translation.
The machine translation is pretty brutal, but the jist of it is essentially:
I’m really touched and amazed that anyone else would be able to connect with my story like that. In years past, I’d have kept everything to myself and never would have been able to get this kind of emotional support and understanding from people obviously around the world. Blogs are truly changing the world, one post at a time…
To the author of that post, I’m truly touched. I still think about Alecia nearly every day, even now, more than 5 months after we realized she was engaged and more than 3 months since I last saw her. Sometimes things like this make you wonder if there really is one true love for you out there, and what happens if you miss that opportunity?
Tags:
Post Meta
Atom